Seamus Heaney Mother of the Groom Analysis

Mother of the Groom -Seamus Heaney (1939-2013)

Seamus Heaney was born and raised in Northern Ireland. The Nobel Prize winner for Literature, Heaney spent time as a professor at both Harvard and Oxford. He grew up a Catholic in Protestant English rule, and many of his poems address life in Northern Ireland. He is known as one of the major poets of the 20th century.

Mother of the Groom

What she remembers
Is his glistening back
In the bath, his small boots
In the ring of boots at her feet.

Hands in her voided lap,
She hears a daughter welcomed.
It's as if he kicked when lifted
And slipped her soapy hold.

Once soap would ease off
The wedding ring
That's bedded forever now
In her clapping hand.

1966



When my brother got married over seven years ago, I remember how my mom experienced a whirlwind of emotions: happiness for her son, sadness in how the time had passed, thoughtful as to how this event would change the relationship she had with her son. Here, similarly, Heaney's character "the mother of the groom" is feeling nostalgic and and almost left out of the whole celebration. Usually in a wedding, of the four major individuals at a wedding (bride, groom, mother of bride, mother of groom,) the mother of the groom takes the back seat in the celebration in relation to the other three. This mother of the groom relates her now-married son to the boy she remembers giving a bath, and uses that image to describe how the son is "slipping" away from his mother's grasp. She realizes how much his marriage will change her role in his life, and the role of primary woman in her son's life is now gone. "She hears a daughter welcomed." She does not welcome the daughter. "Her voided lap," she did not void herself. She has no choice in this situation, and she regrets this. In a way, the mother of the groom's aging now begins to speed up as her son has also taken steps to grow up (marriage.) It is evident the mother and her son had a very intimate relationship, and she feels replaced as that intimacy is picked up and moved to his new wife. It is amazing the meaning, memories, and emotions just three short stanzas can bring to a reader. The simple language used allows Heaney to connect the mother of the groom to the reader, creating a situation the reader can relate to. Whether any of us will ever be a mother of the groom is irrelevant because at times we all feel replaced, we all feel a relationship changing we don't want to give consent to, we all feel the finality of an important event like marriage.